Defeated. I just don't know how much longer I can go on at this pace. Supposedly getting up at 5 (I have to say supposedly because there are those lovely mornings when I realize it's 6:30 and I'm still in bed), getting everything ready and trying to leave at 7, working a hectic day, then not getting home until 4, has left me wrecked. So much so that I spent much of the past week at a self pity party. Frustrated and depressed, I wallowed. The house is in chaos. When will I have time to switch my closet from winter to spring? When is there time to paint my toenails and all the other fun girly things I used to love to do? I'm out of style. I need to lose the 6 pounds I have left before I go buying new clothes. I need a haircut, but who? My hair lady disappeared when I was in new baby survival mode. There are all these things to take care of and the only person that I can cut time from seems to be Stevie. The warm glow of Stevie and the comfy couch suck me in and there I sit, wasting time. Granted, I'm exhausted by the time Micah gets to sleep, but what if I just spent 30 minutes doing some of the household maintenance right after Micah goes to sleep? I'm not even talking about cleaning, just laundry and clutter and dishes and things. I can clean the house super fast when it's picked up.
I'm so tired of running at this pace. After this week, I only have 48 more days until summer. Then I'll get to spend each day with this sweet little man. And if the picture thing doesn't work, then I guess that's just one more thing that I don't have time for messing around with. It says my images are being uploaded, but I know how that goes.
5 comments:
Ok, what's Stevie?
You have spring break coming up, too, right? I will pray that you get some much deserved rest during that time, enough to get you through to summer.
I'm looking forward to seenig you next week and getting to meet Micah! I can't wait to take pictures of all the new little boys together!
i'm w/ sally . . . who's stevie?? i'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed, liz!! :( everyone tells me to just forget about keeping up w/ the house . . and i'm HOME w/ the kid for now!! *sigh. he's at that stage where he wants to be held and played w/ at all times . . . no more just hanging out in the swing and being happy! so my house is a wreck too.
i can't WAIT to see you and MO next week!! just think about that and be happy!! :) choose joy. i love you!
It's the TV. I'm doing better now. Just getting through the past week helped a lot. And I can't wait to see both of you guys!
I totally feel for you. I spent all Thurs and Fri afternoon in tears...sobbing...because I felt so overwhelmed and frustrated. And I don't have to work right now. Hang in there...it's bound to get easier.
I'm looking forward to seeing you and meeting Micah at the shower this week (I'm the one you RSVPed to!).
My heart breaks for you... I so know how you feel. I'm exhausted, and feel like I have nothing left to give. Nothing to my students, nothing to my child, nothing to my husband, nothing to myself... I'm giving an ounce of effort to everyone and everything because I'm so empty and basically just trying to function every day. I hope that next year is better for you... I heard a rumor you were trying to job share, and I hope that works out for you! I was denied a job share position, which means it is back to full time for me unless a sheer act of God provides the means for me to stay at home.
I'm praying for you and thinking about you!!! Everyday that I go to work is so hard, but it has helped to know there are other working moms out there too who struggle just the way I do. It makes me feel not so alone!!!
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