Me, Really?

Teaching can often feel like a thankless job. I do the best job I can do while at the same time trying to be there for my family. Meanwhile, my school still isn't meeting it's AYP and we won't get COLA next year because of the state budget. It would be very easy to get so bogged down with all of the bad things. Many days are filled with battles over petty things like sharpies, or coming on time. Yesterday, I had to make Angel (an ironic name) go out and come back in 4 times before he actually entered the classroom without being a disruption. So many days I just continue to make it through, wondering if I'm actually affecting anyone or anything.

When I went back to work after maternity leave, I really prayed that it would be obvious why I was there. I really wanted to have a purpose if I was going to be away from my son each day. I feel like it's becoming more and more obvious this week that I'm making a difference. One of my former students emailed me out of the blue telling me about her pregnancy. She's a junior in high school and 3 months along. After five years of teaching I still don't really know what to say when students tell me they're pregnant. Instead I was honest with her that I was a little disappointed in her, but that I was sure if anyone could make it work it was her. She has a plan to finish high school and college and has a lot of support from her family. I have a lot of hope and faith in this student, and I think she can do it. She wrote me back telling me how much that means to her that I believe in her because she looks up to me as someone who is smart and successful. I guess I never really thought of myself as anyone people looked up to. I know that sounds so dumb, but really, I didn't.

Yesterday was grade check day. One of my TA's isn't doing well in her classes. When she handed me her grade check, she told me not to get mad. So I looked it over. I let her F in math slide. I wasn't good at math, but I grilled her about her D in her English class and made a plan for her to use the last 10 minutes of my class as a study time for English vocabulary words. Today, after running into her counselor, I decided I wasn't going to let her fail anything else and made her get her math homework done in my class. I really encouraged her to get it together, because right now, she's not on track to graduate. On her way out she told me that I'm really the only teacher she really likes. What a good opportunity to use my influence. I can affect her life in ways I never imagined. She may graduate high school (and be the first in her family to do so) because of my influence.

It's good to know that in a few lives, I've made a difference.