Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace.

I've only ever known one set of grandparents. Until I was in my 20's, my mom's mom always lived far away and has only recently settled in Bakersfield. Because of this, I've always looked at my dad's parents as "the grandparents" in my life. My Grandma and Grandpa would babysit us when my parents were away. My Grandma would let us climb up and down the stairs and jump on the bed, even though she told us not to. My Grandpa would make us the best breakfasts in the mornings. Grandma would take us shopping and let us roll down the power windows. They would take us to the mountains, Pioneer Village, and play cards with us. Grandma would make cookies or a cobbler and of course she was always offering us some of "natures candy" - fruit. I remember Grandma teaching me about rollie pollie bugs and the bean song. Their house was always clean; they always had snacks and soda for us. They would read the Bible each night to us and Grandma would always be singing hymns as she went about her housework. I always felt loved when I was at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

When Grandpa died of a stroke in 1999, it was a really big adjustment - especially for Grandma. I was blessed with singleness at the time and able to be there for my Grandma in a way that no one else in my family really could be. I didn't have a family of my own to take care of, so I began taking care of Grandma. Not in the sense of doing things for her, but in befriending her. She was facing life without her husband; something that she had not done for close to 60 years. Almost every day, after class, I would stop by her house for a visit. Sometimes I would help her pull weeds, other times we'd play cards, do a puzzle, or go out to dinner together. We just spent time together. I knew how much it meant to her that I was there. It was another part of the day when she had someone to talk to and be friends with. And that's what we were - friends.

As we grew older, we spent less time out on adventures and more time sitting on the patio, talking. I always felt like no matter how chaotic my life got, Grandma's house provided a much needed respite. It was a place where I received sage, Biblical advice, basked in Grandma's love and, of course, took home a lot of beautiful flowers. While there are so many things I will miss about grandma, the thing I will miss the most is the sound of delight in her voice when she would answer the door, see me standing there, and say, "Oh, Eliza" as if my coming to visit was the biggest surprise and joy of her day.

It's always hard to let go of someone you love so much. In my head I'm thankful that my Grandma has gone home to be with the Lord. It was an answer to my prayer. But selfishly, my heart is sad at the reality that my time with her is over.